I wasn't pimping you out... I was helping you network!
Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
I apparently tried to stop my spending of money by sealing the top of my wallet with gum
I had to hold off a girl who was trying to check your pulse while you were passed out. She kept screaming that she was a nursing major and needed to make sure you were alive.
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
Also, at 1:30 I emailed myself saying, "are you there Margaret? It's me, god"
If your mother gets up on the bar again, I will. The bouncer already had a talk with her earlier.
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
We had sex in the morning in pregnant lady position. Like fuck me like the hott piece of ass that I am, not your wife of 7 years.
I think pants incapable of making pants work
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
This friendship isnt goin to work if you dont respond to my drunk texts
Don't do it. It's 9 am on a Monday morning and I'm hungover. I can't deal with tears right now.
Randomize
