that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
He likes Jesus. Game over.
Oooh wait, he just told me he was high.
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
After last night, I've decided I will now bang only men who professionally ride things for a living. I will accept jockeys, cowboys, bullriders, and pro bicyclists who lie and say they're bullriders.
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
Thanks for takin my cousin out last night, sorry I passed out so early
You kidding, the kids a legend. He literally killed a bottle of Jamison, made out with a girl AND her Mom at the bar, stole us slices of pizza and told the cab driver where to go in Spanish. He doesn't even live in the area. Can we keep him?
I just sustained a forearm injury dancing to salt n peppa in my kitchen. Fack. I pushed it real good.
Random boy motorboated me, handed me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, winked and walked out with some other girl
Find him and marry him.
She's asleep in a fisher-price toy car
I bonged champagne. And did keg stands. What in the actual fuck am I doing with my life?
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