Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
I can only name 15 people I've had sex with - can I just start claiming that as my sex number?
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
Met my future wife peeing in the men's room. I stood in for the missing door on the stall. We really hit it off talking about how her butt didn't even touch the seat from all the years of squat lifting in high school.
He got a slutty, ugly mother of a 7 year old, and I got a dog that only sleeps and shits on clean clothes. No one won in this break up.
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
Do one night stands count towards my number?
Yes. A penis is a penis
Even bad ones?
YES.
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
Update: they told me I was twerking to twenty one pilots
Hey remind me the get the pancakes out of my jacket
look im sitting on my bathroom floor in my underwear snorting cocaine can we talk about this later
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