All my problems are solved. I just got McDonalds and scratch off lottery tickets.
we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
The iPad is going to make my porn collection SO much more glossier... thanks steve jobs.
mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
I mean, I gave him a hand job on the Pearl Harbor tour bus; I don't know what the fuck else he wants out of this "relationship"
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
I slept naked with a towel wrapped around my waist in case I pissed the bed again
IDK MAYBE BC I WOKE UP IN AN AIRPORT WITH A ONE WAY TICKET TO LONDON
I drunkenly texted ur dad last night telling him he raised great kids hahahahaha
So... my daughter's new girlfriend Is the daughter of the girl I dated on and off in college Who ran away because she got pregnant at my house party. My Legitimate daughter Is probably fucking my Illegitimate daughter...
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
Randomize
