I decided it would be a good time to smoke on one of my deliveries but then I got the munchies and ate a piece of the pizza I was freaking out so I told him it was our new pacman pizza
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
You got ahold of his prescription papers and gave out prescriptions for cranberry and vodka
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
she was handing out condoms w/ her number on them...
Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
I don’t know what's weirder; the fact that I weigh more with an erection..or the fact that I actually weighed myself with an erection...
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
We are going to the humane society and getting you microchipped so you don't get lost on your birthday. Either that or your getting a child leash
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
Is there any reason why a taxidermic donkey head is in the shower?
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