I'm drunk in f*****g wisconsin and want to kill myself.
If it's any consolation, be grateful that you're not in New Jersey.
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
Whatever, the fact of the matter is that I saved you from poorly planned outdoor sex by doing a rain dance and you should totally thank me.
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
So I'm drinking wine and watching Thumbelina
I'm teaching my cat to play fetch
Yep, it's a friday
I've friend zoned this boy hard. I made him change my nipple rings before he went home.
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
I was like kind of drunk but mostly just very enthusiastic about beyonce
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
I just wanna get high and take a fucking awesome nap. Those are my goals for the week.
He is a real estate investor who’s face I’m going to sit on.
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
Randomize
