Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
Sometimes i wish my penis was detachable that way i could take it off sometimes so i wouldnt get into these situations
Remember the time we were horrifically hung over, went to mcdonalds, an you merely felt the weight of the mcnuggets box and knew there was an extra?
like it was yesterday
so, give him that "thank you for fighting for my freedom bj" & he wont even remember what you said in that six min voice mail.
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
Honestly I think at this point I purposefully schedule nothing on Sundays anymore so I can spend all day wallowing in my shame.
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
The staples of my diet are Labatt Blue, Xanax, and brick cheese.
I should have never moved out...
I don't need you anyway! I have puppies and booze!
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
OHMYGOD I LITERALLY JUST FINISHED JERKING OFF AND MY MOM BUSTS IN AND HANDS ME A BABY WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON IN MY HOUSE JESUS H CHRIST!
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
this morning's inventory: a top hat, two empty bottles of everclear, half a slim jim, cigars, tiara, pot necklace, and some fishnets. and that's just my purse.
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