I slept walked to the toilet and woke up pooping. Easily one of the most disorienting events of my life.
the way she shouted out instructions during sex made me feel like I was having sex with my gym teacher
do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just shotgunned a beer alone in the bathroom...what do you expect from me
Who the fuck did i sell my right shoe to last night i need to get that back im not walking with one shoe on
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
Today marks the 365th consecutive day of jerkin it. I couldn't have done it without you guys. #onlynewyearsresolutionaccomplished
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well if I can't snuggle you, I might as well snuggle a stranger's cat.
I took multi-tasking to a new level. I just ate a plate of nachos off my lap while driving to the bar. And I barely got any on me.
idk i was trying to watch Fuller House and you got up out of a dead sleep, just in your boxers, said "no more Dave Coulier" and walked out to the living room and unplugged the router
Why in the hell is there a guy dressed up as a horse passed out in our kitchen.
happy birthday!
Only you could get too drunk for taco bell. I don't know if I'm jealous or ashamed. Go to bed.
Thank you for stopping me from getting a butt tattoo. That was a good call.
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