i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.
I drank it, and now my boss keeps hitting me in the face with beams of light.
Tripping at your desk probably isn't the best plan you've had.
first i yelled "you cant get it up?" and then in the middle of it i opened a Corona
dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
Before he took my jeans off all he said was "no hard feelings from middle school right?"
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
I had her number in my wallet, I was sitting on a winning ticket for the blowjob lottery and didn't know
Hey are you going to the pride parade? If so get me a shit ton of condoms
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
I got her number but I don't think I'll be able to smash, I was pretending to be British AND I forgot her name
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
I gave her a cheerful high five and she turned to me and said, "we should do that with our genitals." I may have to marry this girl.
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