My friends, they love my intelligence
you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
What about the words "You're my personal dildo" made him say "I love you"?
doctor said mango vodka does not count as my daily servings of fruit. damn.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
just did awkward shuffle by the bagels in the dining hall at 7:30 AM with a kid i've hooked up with. goodbye freshman year.
Well I woke up with spatula marks on my ass and burns on my hands.
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
Is it rude if I ask the current tenets of our future apartment if I can come and blackout for a night? I want stupendously drunk me to get a feel for the place so he's comfortable when we move in.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I will come to your office dressed as a bloody mary, hug you then leave is that a good plan?
yes. bring a barf bucket too. just. in. case.
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
I just Miyagied my roommate through her first set of tit pics. Her fuck buddy owes me.
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
Remind me to tell you about this weekend with them. It was the least fun I have ever had drinking. And I have thrown up pork and beer through my nose on the side of the freeway.
I'm both gender and math confused
Randomize