Hot mess moment: I just made really spicy guac and picked my nose, which set it on fire. I tried to neti pot it with a coffee pot, which resulted in me gagging and puking all over my bf's bathroom. oopsie.
You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
I'd introduce you to the guys, but you'd probably make them all fall in love with you
I could do with a Floridian man-harem. Let's do this.
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
HEY. NO. THIS IS ABOUT YOU RIGHT NOW. YOUR COCK, MY MOUTH, THATS IT.
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
Just bought a dildo. Happy first time single in four years Valentine's Day to me
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
I spilled wine on my pillowcase and I figure it's basically my lifeblood so I'm just leaving it
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
After I chugged my beer the cop slapped my ass and said "atta girl" this can't be real life.
Randomize
