garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
remember that night jesus turned water into wine? DRUNKER.
$22.99 left in the bank til payday = 3($7 jack & coke) + 2($0.89 T-Bell taco) + $0.21 in case of emergency.
math is fun
I woke up to my dog trying to clean my vagina.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
I was fine until "Under Pressure" came on the radio. It's like God wanted me to shit my pants on the drive home.
I had to talk to the cops at my front door in a bathrobe, with the buttplug still in.
He was leaving the restaurant I was going to as I was parking. I didn't want to scream, "hey, didn't I jerk you off?" Out of my window at 10 am
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
You guys go ahead and have your romantic night. I'm gonna keep my vday tradition alive of angry banging a stranger.
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
Where'd you go?
Laundry, im. A responsible drunk
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
Randomize