So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
after drinking 6 jumbo margaritas he then proceeded to tell the entire restaurant that he was going to "bust a load in me" when we got home....how do you think the rest of my night went?
i carry sandwiches in my pockets more than any normal person should
they hired a photographer to take a family portrait for grandmas bday gift. we just hired a male stripper. we are def the better grandkids.
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
If I'm not up by 8, will you please knock on my door?
That depends, can you stop texting me while you're masturbating?
Touche.
I CAN STILL HEAR YOUR VIBRATOR.
I just saw a commercial for God of War and heard the nickname he gave my vagina.
Waking up to find your mom holding your birth control pills and telling you I suggest you take this
All you kept saying was, " Barack fucking Obama. FUCK Michelle" and then you motorboated me.
I'm so poor. I just wiped my ass with cocktail napkins... That I stole from the neighbors... When I was over there stealing Cheetos.
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
The night's not a success unless at least 60% of participants wake up with bite marks on their genitals the next morning.
I don't know what kind of parties you go to, but we should hang out more often.
You were lost on foot. Texted us and told us that N*Sync couldn't save you, and then you "met Jesus" in your car.
Randomize
