Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
drunk tastebuds have low standards.
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
Claiming territory at this party means signing a girls ass...I've got dibs on a blonde
Can someone please explain where the fish in the mason jar came from when we were at a bar all night?
You told the bartender if he gave you one of the fish you'd go away
He called me saying he got nice rims for his car so now we can fuck in style
Our night has progressed to doing coke off a laundry machine through a parking ticket
I was supposed to go on a date tonight but I cancelled because I found out the Lizzie McGuire movie is on Netflix.
Sorry I blacked out in bed
it was real late and you were brushing your teeth with miller light. it was bound to happen.
I just puked on a sprinkler…Motherfucker tried to spray me
My breath smells like dick and biscuits..
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
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