Some dude at the gas station right now is buying a 30 rack of beast and a can of cat food. Happy Thanksgiving.
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
if i actually bought condoms for every time i had sex, i could single handedly fix the economy
I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.
Is asking my 8-year-old brother if he will make us shot glasses in his ceramics class too far?
Clearly that person doesn't understand how efficient getting drunk and working out at the same time is.
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
you walked in on him eating me out and screamed SHE'LL BREAK YOUR HEART BRO before body slamming on the ground and passing out on the floor
I just came inside of a Gatorade bottle. That hungover.
GDI YOU HAVE THE GOD OF FUCKING THUNDER'S NUDES AND YOU DIDN'T SHARE
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
He just said Bill Nye is just a dude. If I ever considered sleeping with him, I never will now.
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
Yes I went home with her last night. I woke up this morning and ran into my boss on the way to the bathroom. Monday is going to suck at work.
Randomize
