Turns out he's not gay. He just didn't know how else to say he's not into me. He just hit on my sister.
Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
My dad just walked in on me screwing the chick from the bar...the look of relief on his face was sort of hurtful.
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
There's glitter in my speakers, piles of cheezits on the floor, a random Audi in the driveway and a homeless dude napping in a lawn chair in the backyard. Wtf happened last night?
I'm sitting here bra-less eating jalepeno candied bacon. You know you want this.
Coming.
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
If I could run through a field of Reece's and Oreos, dive off a milkfall into a bowl of cereal. My Life would complete.
Would it be playing god to put spaghetti on my pizza?
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
you put your keys in the fridge so you wouldn't forget your yoohoo
I learned the hard way a garbage bag will not save you when jumping from a tree at 2am
Randomize
