I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
Whoa! I think of you when I eat cottage cheese.
Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
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She was so loose she sounded like a jar of salsa. I didn't know that was even possible.
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
composition of my stomach right now: 60% C8H10N4O2 * H2O (coffee), 20% CaCO3 (pepto bismol/tums), 10% HCl (stomach acid), 5% fried rice, 5% residual adderall. i can do that by percent mass too. fuck you finals.
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
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Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
Ryan friended me on LinkedIn and it took everything in my power not to endorse him for sexual dysfunction as a skill.
I stopped his blowjob to raise 3 fingers & whistle the hunger games tune to the people walking past the window
She got engaged last night. I don't think you should ask her out man.
That was before I lit my hair on fire
One can only be this extremely wet once a year and I feel like I'm bitch slapping god by not using this gift he has bestowed on me.
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