i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
I told a kindergarten student that candy canes are bones of reject elves.
if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
It's official. I am the proud owner of his very own sex tape. Amateur awesome porn or awful delete-me-now porn? Come over help me decide.
I just had to ask my dad for money to pay for my birth control. I've hit financial rock bottom.
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
I sat on the toilet and peed through my jeans, then I pissed the bed and blamed him...do you think well have a 2nd date?
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
Have you ever just like not slept in so long that everything looks like a lava lamp?
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
So, I ran into Garrett last night in the laundry room.
Oh really? First post break-up run in. How'd it go? Awkward?
Um. We had sex on a washing machine.
Look I'm really hungover so let's try this again. In 5 mins you're gonna call me and tell me that you're on your way with xannies, iced coffee and a back rub
I’m mid 4sum and you’re sending me photos of your cat. We had very different evenings.
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