she asked me if the dress made her look fat, i told her no - the fat made her look fat.
Here's a fun fact your kittens ate my vomit last night
he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
I remember telling you it was cold out because the sun was going to explode and people were going to fight for corn. I feel I've mislead you.
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
I've never felt more disgusting in my life. And I'm including the time I snuggled that homeless woman in the puddle of my whiskey vomit.
Thanks for getting me stoned. My manager started quizzing me about the menu and I struggled until he asked me to describe the tortilla soup. I said "tasty"
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
i was too drunk before they even got here. i took all their phones instead of keys and hid them in the freezerr...im an awesome party host.
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
THREE MINUTES! THREE MINUTES PAST MIDNIGHT I STSRT HEARING CHRISTMAS MUSIC ON THE OVERHEAD PA SYSTEM!!!
Randomize
