I just had an epiphany. There is NOTHING TO STOP ME from making cake mix and eating it all instead of making a cake. It feels like my entire life has peaked at this moment.
I've drank myself into a smaller pants size. Who ever said alcoholism was unhealthy was mistaken.
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
She punched my vomit. In midair. Back into my mouth.
I need to start giving them away because owning 20 dildos is never going to get me a boyfriend.
The good news is I managed to avoid the three cop car looking for me. The bad news is I no longer have shoes.
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
This is true. I'm still having Jess write "no drugs" on my left hand and "except weed" on my right hand
Me and the cabbie are stopping on the way at a sit down restaurant to eat. My life is so sad.
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
I wish I was there to have sex with you on the plane to lessen your anxiety.
That's the nicest thing anyone has over said to you.
I think I’ve reached sophomore-year-level of bad ideas
and you know that’s the highest possible level because it’s when I met you
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
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