You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
i just stumbled downstairs, still drunk, to hug my dad and wish him a happy fathers day
but fathers day is next sunday
i realized that after i threw up on his bare feet
failed my one goal of the day: wake up before 2 pm.
It's an open bar on a yacht... I'm going to drown.
He caught a squirrel with his bare hands twice. Where do you find these people?
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
let's just skip the pleasantries and go back to my place for pizza and casual sex
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
I have an erection and I'm about to go through airport security.
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
My neighbor came out@4am in a pink nite gown n clotheslined a punk on a mo-ped w/her mop handle, then just walked back in her house like she just checked the mail. MILF 1 PUNK 0
I'm on a walk of shame carrying YOUR pants. You owe me.
Randomize
