That's intense
it's not cheating when I paid for it
i was told that i was found face down in a plate of ketchup at the dinner table
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
His roommate just snorted a line of Smirnoff off the desk. I could really fit in here.
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
Just so you know, classy bitches change the morning after in a CVS bathroom.
My heart is swelling with pride right now. I fucking love you.
That's why we don't trade sex for Taco Bell. It's called the dollar menu.
Just licked cheese from my hot pocket off my phone. I spilled because I was eating a Popsicle at the same time. Send an adult please
Holy shit, just saw a girl in the library smoking a bong disguised as a calculator
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
He's not very smart so he didn't know I was yelling at him with monologues from Scandal.
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
Looking back at our past texts, the minute it turned 2020 you were cleaning your house and I was dying of the cold. We were prophesying the Rona.
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
Randomize
