he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
In other news, shitting yourself is not an acceptable way to start a Thursday.
Don't blame me. I told you I didn't know if I had a key to those hancuffs.
Find me a cup with a lid so I can illegally drink in your car. I'll be there in bout 10 minutes.
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
My aunt left me alone with the instructions to "get waisted" by the time she returns. I love drunk aunt.
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
I got back from work this morning after working the night shift to find an NFL player scaling the side of our apartment...from your window. He just took sneaking out to all new level. Care to explain?
I think that about sums it up, actually.
Couldn't finish, so she gave me "the tap," and I had to leave the mound early. Nothing worse than the long walk back after the manager comes out and asks for the ball.
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
Yeah but him not going to be sleeping in your sink this time.
yeah, i'm probably gonna die. still gonna be totally worth it tho
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
I went looking for them and I pulled my pants down and peed on the lawn. I found my phone in the same spot in the morning.
Randomize
