My brain says no but my pants say off.
He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
Do you realize that we tried to rent a limo at 5am to come and take us to waffle house?
this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
I'm sorry I didn't make it out, I got distracted by sparkley boobies.
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
You were waisted for 48 hours and the only 3 words you said were yup, sure, and michigan
He knows as soon as he hits chameleon eye status drunk, he is guaranteed to piss the bed we NEED to push him there
The nurse gave me a funny look when I said I thought I have an std in my throat. Bet she only does it missionary too
I can wear a rubber suit at three am and spank someone's ass until its sore and fuck them three ways from Sunday. And get up the next day and do their laundry. As long as once in awhile they rub my back without expecting anything
She got called into work early but she left me a note that had directions to her roommates stash of weed on top of a two bacon and egg mcmuffins. I think I win.
Somehow you're a lightweight AND an alcoholic. Rare combo in one person. Well done.
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
We laughed, we cried, we fucked, we shirked our familial and work related responsibilities. They could make a movie about the last 40 hours of our lives.
Nothing says happy Monday quite like coffee and oral sex.
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