bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
i literally forgot his name and just started calling him "waffles"
i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
Seriously, stop peeing all over the toilet seat. It looks like movie theatre butter.
It's an open bar on a yacht... I'm going to drown.
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
I don't care. I'll text you about my butthole whenever I please. That's what you signed up for in this relationship.
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
Man, I meant to go dancing, but accidentally took mushrooms and just threw the frisbee in the park
Surprise ending
Started crying to "that's the way it is" by celine. What the fuck uterus?!
This whole Rob and Chyna drama is giving me trust issues. I'm about to text my ex and be like if you haven't already deleted my nudes, can you?
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
Dear Douchebag, I would just like to formally issue this fuck you. You will be receiving a letter in the mail soon. With all of your stuff.
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
Randomize
