yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
Truelife: I made out with my ex-boyfriend's girlfriend this weekend. Thank you Captain Morgan...
Was she wearing cherry chapstick??
No. Life's not always a fairytale.....
how do you say "fuck me and leave bruises" in italian?
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
just woke up COVERED in glow sticks and glitter. didn't even have to turn the light on to puke.
We're gonna have the chick that teaches kindergarteners to fold origami roll the joints.
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
Clearly that person doesn't understand how efficient getting drunk and working out at the same time is.
Rub those nipples and moan like a platypus.
Jesus, are you hammered?
Hammered for that juicy ass. I'll bring the straws.
I'm looking for mother nature. And when I find her, I'm looking her right in the eyes and telling her to fuck off.
I'm sorry I came to your house drunk and fed pizza to your dog.
these are times I'm glad I'm Jewish because the Torah is just like "drink, eat, and fuck"
VASECTOMY FOR THE WIN
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
Bruh. You offered the cashier tater tots that you had stuffed in your pocket.
Yeah, and? She might've been hungry.
Randomize
