I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
So he thinks I sent him a picture of my boob last night, but it was really just a close up of my arm.
Call me when your ready for an explanation about the ham in your vagina.
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Apologies for hacking your facebook and posting that picture of you passed out hooked up to the IV...but we were sat with you on the ER floor for 3 hours, it got boring
Your roommate is pacing with a pen in his mouth flapping like a duck. That brownie got me fucked but not enough to understand this. Come back!
He does that
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
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Would it be a good deed to leave a 32 pack of bud light next to a bum sleeping in the park?
The cleaning lady even cleaned my bong. I'm scared to open my sex toy drawer and see if and how she organized it
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
Good thing my vagina doesn't have a chronometer on it. I'm sure my fiance would be horrified. Probably 10 miles from this past weekend alone.
I swear you won't find cereal in your washer machine again.
Yeah I would come and meet you but there's 3 polish girls yelling at a drunk polish guy in the carpark outside. They just dumped a whole pizza over his head and I want to see where this ends...
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