He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
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I feel like someone had their period in my eyes.
I'm sorry I got a little outta control last night.
I must be the strongest person who ever managed to get knocked down by a pug.
The water at the venue tasted HORRIBLE so I just kept drinking booze. It was like the medievals.
And that facial hair. He might as well shave it so it spells "douche" on one cheek and "nozzle" on the other.
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
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I'm tired of looking like my mother fucked Chewbacca.
What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab?
You need to stop vomiting in the washing machine, bro. For real this time.
Because cocaine and lesbian hookups on a Tuesday cannot be the new normal
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
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