I just heard a teenager say to his friend "dats my baby! i was hittin her up on myspace like gurllll. she got me steamin". must have missed the memo its 2005 and we still use myspace.
Sandra Bullock looks like the most recent Michael Jackson
Call me in 2 minutes and go along with what I say. You're hysterical and I must go comfort you asap. He just asked if I was ready to experience sex with a wizard and he wasnt kidding.
9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
Please, by all means, tell me what can't be helped by two stiff drinks & a blowjob?
Why is your solution always to masturbate
Because it usually works
Well I mean he still had sex with me after I told him that I play fetch with the kids I take care of, so I'm not really looking too far ahead with him...
I had sex with him in the back of my car in a duck onesie. I'm worth something dammit.
when in doubt, mount your coworker in the staff room.
I couldn't find my contact solution so I thought mixing toothpaste and water would work
Randomize
