They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.
this weekend will be like the season finale to my life
there's a guy on campus handing out business cards. you pay him to see if your girlfriend will cheat. the company name is "tying up loose ends"
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
gay flight attendant. racoons. kegels. bartender with missing teeth. too many birthdays. fucckk.
A nap. You broke your hand napping in Vegas.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she asked me to come back to her house where "hopefully her kids were asleep". that my friend is what i call a dealbreaker
Please don't buy a buttplug. It won't fill the empty space in your heart.
Congratulations! You can now legally do that thing you said you never do again!
THANKS! I'M SO EXCITED TO NOT DO THE THING
OMG YOU GO OUT AND NOT DO THAT THING, GIRL! I SUPPORT YOU 100%!!!
I think that's the first time I had "ass rimming" scroll across my phone at work
You don't know bruises until you've been banged by 3 drunk bagpipers in the back of thier bus
I woke up with glitter and eggshells in my bed wtf
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