Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
So I called her out for all the gossip she does and she's like "you do the same, bitch"
So I was like "Im classy like the Countess, youre just a bitch like Kim."
Kudos on the Interstate Housewife metaphor.
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
he's my ex-boyfriend's best friend... he tried to make out with me to prevent me from hitting his friend. then they almost fought about it.
teach me your ways.
Definitely just put my car on cruise control so I could stick my head out of the sunroof while driving to taco bell.
So that'd what fifty dollars of chicken at 7/11 looks like. Made it to work on time. Puked twice. BOOM.
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
Dude. I'm busy doing PR for America. FOR AMERICA. Europeans think we can't handle liquor.
Its bad when you wake up with a penis drawn on your face. Its worse when you find out its traced..
I'm training him to sit when I whistle the tune from the hunger games. I'm going to be the coolest parent ever.
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
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