You poured sparks in your panties and NOW you're wondering why you have a UTI?
I don't think he's ever woke up with a paraplegic stripper sitting on his face before.
You stole her bday cake and shared it with drunk strangers on the street.
No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
Is it bad that all my wine bottles have teeth marks in the cork?
I have got to stop letting people hang ornaments from my nipple ring.
Tis the season.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
Somehow my boobs came up in conversation AGAIN last night and I'm still not getting laid...
Laying on my driveway in my pajamas in the sun having my severe hangover cigarette, and the daycare house across the street is having playtime in the yard! I believe I'm currently being what's known as a "bad example!"
Watching South Park, doing sit-ups and drinking tequila. In other words, my night is going pretty good.
Randomize