I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
I woke up and peed for 26 seconds this morning. 26 seconds!
You both must have been completely wasted because every once in a while we would hear you both stop and start singing to each other. At one point it was taylor swift.
Ok, was I really fucked up or was there a chick from Norway in the ice cream shop teaching us Norwegian last night?
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
Also, I'm going to yoga because I have a Taylor Swift range of emotions right now.
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
When I'm drunk I really like to hold dicks. Like, affectionately.
Whoever put the life size cut out of Snoop Dog next to me in bed understands me.
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
I know it's New Year's Eve but if you're going to have a bunch of chicks playing strip go fish in our apartment I need a heads up.
Randomize
