Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
Umm went to talk to a client ended up seeing his semi erect penis. This is my life.
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
promise me that when we are 32, we will look nothing like Kim Zolciak. Promise me right this instant.
its really sad that i have to specifically make this a rule but, absolutely no lighting smoke bombs indoors at my birthday party.
I sang again at the bar lastnight I don't think alanis morrset knew when she wrote you outta know that the drunk version was going to be go fuck yourself Josh and Chelsea. I love $2 wells.
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
do me a favor, I need this weekend off so can you work your magic and blow my boss again?
Crawl out into the sunshine and off your vibrator for 7 minutes
Sorry I threw up all over your Lyft.
It's ok I woke up next to a dumpster.
My ex unfollowed me on SPOTIFY bruh. Freaking spotify. The butthurt is real
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
Randomize
