that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
i just sold back the books i vomitted on
You need to tell your booty call to take some sudafed or something. I swear I thought you were humping Kermit the frog last night
I wonder if she thought to herself "I'm gonna sleep with that guy tonight" when she watched me puke on the bar at 3 in the afternoon?
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
You kept me hostage in your driveway until you got your point across that alaska has warm weather
googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life
Got hit on by the cable guy. Solid 9. Think Orlando Bloom with a glorious curly mullet.
Nothing says happy valentines day like waking up to a naked man you hooked up with taking a walk of shame
We sexted for four hours straight. Is this really what my life has come to?
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
If I hear the phrase 'these unprecedented times' one more time I'm putting my foot up someone's ass.
Randomize
