do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
You guessed 7 of 8 bra sizes correctly. You're like a drunk rainman.
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
he texted me at 3am asking for "one of my famous blowjobs"
What do you think french fries on pizza would taste like?
i already know. Delicious. Use ranch.
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
Dude when the cops came you ran through the fence. Fucking THROUGH it. You're a master ditcher.
For sure. I'm slow cooking a 6 pound pork shoulder wrapped in bacon. If that doesn't scream "guys I'm going into culinary arts lets get drunk" I'm not sure what does.
He just walked in on me naked with a beer in my hand eating a calzone in bed. If he wasn't in love with me before...
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
I just thought I should tell you that I always know what you are doing. Everywhere. Every time. -Your loving Mother
Randomize
