Five things that make you perfect. Go.
The skin of a dead hooker. The blood of the innocent. The soul of a kitten. The hat from cat in the hat. And sunglasses.
it was like eating out sand paper
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
I'm on a treadmill at the gym ordering pizza on my phone so it'll get to my house around the time I get home. I NEED HELP. Or I'm a genius. I haven't decided.
I just wrote the Drag Queen from Saturday Night on FB and apologized for licking her. Weirdest thing I have ever typed...
I have a bottle of vodka wrapped in a leg warmer in my purse. This is what it takes to get through Christmas with my family.
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
Oh my god, are you sexting me while watching the Democratic debate.
100%
Now I'll never know if it was me that got you worked up, or Bernie Sanders' social policies.
Okay so I've been talking to the mice again and they agree with me that you're a piece of shit.
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
There's even glitter on my cock...
Randomize
