So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
he smells like the inside of heather mills' fake leg
Words of Wisdom: ordering a pitcher of whiskey cokes, putting a straw in it, and calling it your drink is not socially acceptable
two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They should make Jack Daniels chap stick
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
I am getting my wife a tattoo just above her butthole that says, "For entry just add tequila."
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
OHMYGOD I LITERALLY JUST FINISHED JERKING OFF AND MY MOM BUSTS IN AND HANDS ME A BABY WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON IN MY HOUSE JESUS H CHRIST!
drinking vodka out of a wine glass to feel a little bit classier about myself.
Seriously, I really just burned my nipple making ravioli.. I'd explain, but no reasoning makes this acceptable:/
Hahaha wearing a fake moustache in public was the best idea i ever had
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
One of my tenants at my fourplex that I own gave me a massive bag of severely dank pot and a brick of cocaine because she didn't have the cash to pay the rent. She might just be my favorite tenant!
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