i was like. eff you dude i'm 100% american. i went to a high school prom and i like springstein songs and i take rides in chevrolets.
Just saw a Mexican guy pushing a stroller with 3 twelve packs of corona in it with a toddler struggling to keep up on foot behind him
Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
You know i think she's just using me for sex
I hate you.
hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
Yup.
Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
So who was trying to make it rain last night in the bathroom? There are pieces of dollar bill everywhere
I just had the weirdest moment. Made eye contact at the bar with a girl who has seen my vagina.
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
The bartender has no bra and is giving out free shots. Call mom I'm getting married.
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
I have someone saved in my phone as "This Hoe Ain'tit' Loyal" and I'm missing my superman boxers. Explain.
I think the reason she hasn't text me back is because I spanked her ass with Hulk Hands
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
Randomize
