I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
We're sending your burrito through the mail slot.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why did I think it was so necessary to steal that rolling pin?
mom and dad are asleep. time to fish my half-full bottle of wine out from under my bed and give this christmas visit a pick-me-up.
"half-full" seems a little optimistic for the turn your night is taking.
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
I would call you but I don't feel like these hands belong to me.
Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
Watching elf, eating a tub of ice cream, and coming to terms with the fact that I haven't had sex in 5 months. Happy fucking holidays.
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
My liver needs me to go back to work asap.
The comfort of this onesie is keeping me single
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