unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis
I feel like I'm sitting in a sleigh of puddy. It's not a bathtub though because you need a sleigh to go down a mountain.
You were Q-tipping mashed potatoes out of your ear.
You broke into someone's house and stole a pan of lasagna.
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
Sometimes I think I have so much sex with you to be sure you're actually straight.
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
We had to go to his parents last night for dinner & ended up having a quickie in the bathroom while everyone else was outside smoking.. This is why we have a successful marriage.
YOU TOLD ME THAT YOU CAUGHT A TAXI HOME. SARAH SAID THE POLICE DROPPED YOU OFF.
She just pored wine down the turkeys hole and said that she christened it like the whore that it is...happy thanksgiving.
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
We couldn't leave for the bar until he spent 10 minutes adjusting his vaporizer. I want to drown him in beard oil.
I am talking to a naked lesbian about robots. I think this means I win life.
You wanna come over?
Too high to be booty called. My cereal is growing hair.
Randomize
