When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
you can't just make up for the fact that you broke up with me by tagging yourelf in my embarrassing facebook videos of you
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
Dedicating my hangover to whoever the hell I hooked up with in the bathroom last night.
just kidding, dedicating it to the gods of mexican food. omnomnom
Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
A part of me realizes this is a bad time to text. But I override it with my awesomeness
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
Randomize
