I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
i feel like barbie the morning after an elton john party
i really thought "pants-shitting drunk" was an unreachable level until last night
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
Where did this racoon skin hat, stop sign and bag full of tacos come from?
Narnia or $5 pitcher night either way
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
GLITTER SLIP N SLIDE MUTHAFUCKAH~
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
Randomize
