Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
I just woke up covered In blood, I have cuts all over my body, I can't find my clothes from last night, I'm still wasted, i'm pretty sure I have a sprained ankle, and the best part is, I have absolutely no recollection of what led to this. THAT'S why vodka is the greatest drink in the world.
i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
So we sucessfully lit our bathtub on fire. Thought you should know.
Michael Bay is the white Tyler Perry.
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
I think I'm dead. Why did I think it was a good idea to hang from the banister while someone poured liquor into my mouth?
I have just disproved the common belief that it is impossible to have mediocre sex in a fire truck.
The fire in my vagina flames on. Fucking terrible firefighter
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
Didn't want you to think it had been open season on my vagina since we broke up.
I CALLED IT A FRIENDSHIP. NOT A I WANT YOUR MAN PARTS IN MY LADY PARTS-SHIP.
He stole me a cantaloupe and we drunkenly broke into a park and ate it on a bench with my pocket knife. I think i need to marry him
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
Sober sex is weird like I didn't expect this when I got clean
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