My lawyer watched my DUI video. Said of the thousand or so he's seen, mine was one of the top ten best.
hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I threw up into my coffee this morning.
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
Does taking an old homeless guy to the strip club, buying him lap dances, and calling him pops all night count as a good deed???
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You should probably stop your little brother from ruining thanksgiving. I just caught him trying to stuff a cake in a drawer... And now he's puking.
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
This is going to be so stupid, but do you feel the calluses on my hands when I give you a handy?
Randomize