Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
I KNOW you don't honestly think you can pay me back in lotto tickets.
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm glad we've gotten to the point in our relationship where I can eat peach rings off your penis.
on a related note, did you know that the fire alarm in our apartment talks?
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
Posting happy birthday to my grandpa on Facebook.... Then realizing my profile pic is me dressed as a slutty cop when he used to be a police officer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're invited to our X-games themed party. We have an ice luge and every time someone eats shit we drink. It's gonna be great.
Selling our snow shovel to buy more beer. Not your brightest idea.
Just found my glass of wine on top of the litter box. Every argument ever is invalid.
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
Yeah but who says we can't be shitfaced and tan at the same time?
Drunk text the hot guy two doors down confessing my love for him.... He gave me a thank you card today.
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