He cut part of his finger off. It was a consolation blow job.
She just looked at him and said "I'm gonna fuck that" and it totally worked.
you called me at 4 in the morning and invited me over for pasta and a late night viewing of titanic.
But apparently I got kicked in the head by a stripper at some point
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
The fact I have to evaluate my choice between tequila and fruity pebbles is a clear image of my life right now
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
just yelled CURVEBALL at my nightie because it turned out to be a pair of shorts
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
I can't wait to see you & have espresso-fueled sex
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