whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
There is a stranger person in my roommates bed...
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
There was a reason that "Throat Warrior 2011" was written on my martini glass. He said my title was undisputed.
I never thought the first time a taser would be used on me would be at an applebees
I found a bag of weed while packing. Now packing is like creating tiny universes inside of boxes.
I didn't even realize I grinded on a security guard last night. Shit. Did he at least like it?
I love being high. The owl outside stopped who-ing and I could swear I just heard someone say, "Okay, that's a wrap!"
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
When a guy asks for your ig but you already know his blood type, social security number, & mother's maiden name.
This is getting exciting. I almost wanna turn off all the lights, get some popcorn, and stare at my phone screen to see if she's going to say yes or not
And on a much sadder note, I'm way to drunk for this right now
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
Randomize
