she told me her fantasy was her as a 55 year old cook at a truck stop who smokes a pack a day, and I was the 21 year old illegal immigarnt prep cook.
Should I shave my pubes in the shape of a top hat so I can nickname my junk Abe Lincoln?
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
Your cat is quite the conversationalist after some tequila and shrooms
I just realized I turned down a booty call too. To make cheesecake. God help us all
I'm hungover and surrounded by children and Republicans. What did I do to deserve this?
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
Having a midget officiate your wedding because you think it'd be hilarious: good idea or potential lawsuit?
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?
Last night when we banged she had nothing else on but socks that said 'property of Jesus' on them.
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
Randomize
