sitting with a guy who's looking at the cum stains on the bed. Do you think he's convinced it's from the cat?
No. He thinks you're slutty.
rhymes with "ouble enetration"
I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
Nobody knew what to do when it was dead. You said fire up the George Foreman, I've never ate baby shark. She hasn't stopped crying.
3 things. 1) we need alcohol 2) we need alcohol 3) we need tortilla chips. Let's make a plan. Bro shakes and salsa.
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
I'm standing at the bottom of the driveway w a sign that says plow me
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
My vag is like the Sahara
Ew that's gross.
The sad truth. Barren and empty.
Masturbating during the Olympics and cumming during the national anthem really is everything it's cracked up to be. Just thought you should know.
You could sing the national anthem right before we have sex. Make it feel like a sporting event
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
His exact words: "I don't have anything you can't treat with antibiotics."
it was an ACCIDENT
it was a DICK
you can't just call dibs on my vagina bro.
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