He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
you'd be alarmed at how much plan b i just found in mom's bathroom...
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
what kind of dress can i wear to my high school reunion that says "even though i'm more successful than all of you i'm still up for sex"?
He walked in, tore open the drawer, pulled out a condom, and slammed it shut. He was that ready.
I hope, cuz I was gunna get "celebritory drunk" but now I have to get "I'm disappointed drunk"
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
I'm sober enough to question why I have your name as "the wolverine" in my phone.
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
You tried to impress her by kicking the 5th floor button in the elevator, but you ended up kicking everything from 3 to 11. Then you said, "pretty accurate, huh ladies?"
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
Found my id. It was in the cats litter box. Seriously what was last night.
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
Randomize
