Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
Told my mom a bit ago she'd meet you tonight
Um...??
She's excited
Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
wanna go halves on a baby?
I can die happy now, I have been kicked out of strip clubs on six different continents
I decided that I do the same thing when i'm drunk with every guy who has a girlfriend...lecture them on how bad cheating is, then hook up with them. I'm like good cop, bad cop.
Walk of Shame'd halfway down a mountain, skiiers passing. Do not drink with lifties at the end of ski season.
I'm going to shower the piss off me now. I feel like I was in an R. Kelly dream.
I just dumped bong water and Bacardi out of my purse into the trash can. Everything in my purse is soaked. I hate Sundays.
If I get aids I am starting a lawsuit against snapchat.
It's gay pride, I'm in my EMT uniform getting more girls than your straight ass ever will..
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
nothing like waking up to a voice mail saying your std test came back negative
She walked into the kitchen, said 'we've come to this time of the party,' reached into the bowl of cold spaghetti and shoved a handful in her mouth.
I knocked over his glass and he yelled "Oh no the boxed wine!" and slurped it off the coffee table. Then he showed me how to mix maple syrup, Jameson, and coffee. My family is better than your family.
Randomize
