Yeah we had sex for the first time last night and all the text he sent me afterwards said was “heh”
i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
New requirements. My future husband must have a nose ring and wear headbands.
We are no longer friends.
operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you need to not memorize your credit card number for drunk pizza
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
I wish I could go back in time 3 years and tell my freshman self how easy it is to hook up with freshmen
I would like to apologize for making you the target of my "I wish head hair grew as fast as Pubes speech" the other night
I drink more single than I do in relationships. Except with assface.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I played ping pong,drunk, with my hand instead of the paddle. And i won. I have hidden talents
Had a guy spin me around at the bar, kiss me then say "oh shit you're not who I thought you were" and then walk away.
You can't be friends with my side piece. Conflict of interest.
Honestly I was sitting in managerial accounting thinking "I really need to get my shit together and stop drinking so much wine." But when you asked I realized... it's wine. It's always a yes.
Anyone who does not consider cereal and wine as a balanced breakfast needs to leave immediately.
I found a used condom in my purse this morning. It was in there with a bunch of smushed french fries.
Randomize