I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
PS- did you die? If you did just text "dead" to me, so that I know.
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
it was like a zeppelin in a condom
We were sitting in my backseat and he just kept biting me and telling me we weren't at the zoo...
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
I'm instituting a new rule. If you wake me up at 3am about wrinkled blankets, I get to throat punch you
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
What kind of sociopath goes to sleep at 9pm when I clearly need attention
Jesus I was next level high last night having a mental epiphany about the state of Virginia
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
we're at the bar celebrating my ex bootycall getting his new gf pregnant... and me narrowly escaping a future as kitty foreman
Randomize
