i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
I will feel awake by 6 pm
Are we not meeting until 6?
No I'm just saying thats usually when my body knows it's time to party
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
All I remember is talking the cops into calling us a cab instead of giving us PIs while trying to wake up your passed-out-on-a-bench ass.
We had everything under control until this one jackass fucked up. Thanks, Peter.
I’ve developed a strange interest in ear wax removal vids on YouTube. Dear god, I need to get a job
I JUST WANT TO SIT IN MY UNDERWEAR AND WATCH THE BRAVES GAME AND NOT BE CONSTRAINED BY MY ED SHEERAN SHORTS
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
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