i was like a deer caught in headlights with its coke-dick hanging out
Sober January is a disaster.
the semester isnt officially over until i take the batteries out of my calculator and put them back into my vibrator
hooking up with my manager sounds like an even better idea while i'm sober.
He snuck out of bed at 9 am and came back with pizza and a bottle of wine. I think I'm in love!
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
I woke up while eating peanut butter from a jar. I don't think I should be social today.
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
By the way can you translate "sorry, she played you bruh" to Spanish? Some Hispanic guy who spoke absolutely no English callled me last night and when I tried to tell him he had the wrong number the response was "como? No no no no...." And then click. He was gone
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
if I dont text you back in 10min assume i am in fact still dizzy and injured myself in the shower. and call an ambulance. thanx.
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
he had to stop me from eating snow off the street on the way back to pick up our cars. that's how hungover i am.
Randomize
