You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
Espresso. Can't sleep. Love puppies
i can't believe i had my finger in that
True Life: I puke at bars and try to catch it in my hand...then walk away like it didn't happen
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
My mom seriously just told me my insurance company pays for rehab. In an email. I expect a real, not just us joking, intervention coming on. I'm not accepting a "lunch date" with that bitch.
Changed it back. Somehow I didn't think my profile pic should be me shirtless on ecstasy, ya know?
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
I am way too attached to fictional lesbians.
Next time you think about divorce, consider this: a hot guy just walked in and I tried to suck in my back fat.
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
All I want is a wedding with a dress and a veil and where I can go and my cat can go.
You know it's a bad cold when sneezing feels better than orgasming...
Let's just grow old together and be the crazy ladies that sit on the park bench, drinking booze from flasks and loudly talk about people who walk by.
Randomize
