woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit
Just got motor boated by a horse in the street
My shoe was in my mailbox this morning. I can't stay sober today.
I feel like this is the moment of high where you have to write these texts down to remember to text them and feel that somehow this is important to the continuity of the world.
Oh, and i love you too. Im just a selfish dick who had to talk about myself first
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
My body hates me. Pretty sure I drank 3 pitches full of coffee last night and took two adderal. I slept and ran a marathon at the same time. You should see my bed.
Just remember that no one else gets to suck his dick but you, feel honored. It's like the Olympic torch of life is being passed off to you and it's your time to run
There is eyeliner on my toilet. Vodka and I have a love hate relationship.
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
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