The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
first day of class and my professor asked me if i was going to come to class drunk all semester.
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
Hey. Hope youre not too hungover. Also, did you put a Christmas tree in my guest bathroom and cover it with condoms?
And you were like "stop making pop tarts, lil bowow" as you grabbed the pop tarts from your ex and consumed them. Teach me your ways.
I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
Wrong. I really wanted to see the movie. And she was on top of me like she was riding a mechanical bull. Who am I to complain? I live to serve.
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
I fucked her ex bc she fucked mine but now we're cool and I'm watching her dog this weekend
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
That's really the only reason I'm dating you, the prospect that I might get bacon
Nah, I was done when the Big Pun lookalike began to sob and tell me I looked like his ex...
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
Randomize
