Would you feel weird if I asked out ___?
You dont call on our son's bday but you want to know if I'll give you permission to date my best friend?
So...no?`
Funny, I didnt know that facebook statuses were for crappy song lyrics
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
sometimes i wish i was a boob, they get to chill in soft and cuddly little cup things.
The bar owner gave me permission to push people into the pool. I'm never going to leave Los Angeles
If you are wondering why there is half eaten pizza in your pocket it's because you were passed out with it in your hand in my bathtub. Today's your b-day and thought I'd give you a good idea about what happened last night as a present
No no don't get confused. We do chemistry homework on Thursdays. We screw on Fridays. Other than that, Words With Friends is our only communication five days a week. We are NOT dating.
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
I received a text promising me sex if I drove to Memphis this weekend. Too bad for my penis that we're watching zombie movies and playing cards.
This has to be the weirdest conversation I've ever had sober and in the middle of the day before.
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
I'm at a first year old's birthday party and a midget dressed as a cop just showed up. Word is we're going to toss and bowl with him. Updates to come.
What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
Randomize
