This dress was meant to end up on your floor
He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
I am so fucking pissed, there are no Shamwows in the As Seen on TV Store.
Looks like you'll have to stick to jizzing in socks.
Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
Some guy just watched me feed 30 dimes and 3 quarters for bread and cheese at the self checkout at walmart. I no longer comprehend shame...
He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
Tim said I dropped my taco in a puddle and still ate it.
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
the night ended with taco bell and tears
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
Your heart is a swirling cauldron of blackness that does not pump blood but rather a sludgey mixture of evil and broken dreams.
My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
Tip: never mention Guy Fieri during sex
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