how many beers do i need before it is acceptable to sleep with sam
enough that when i make fun of you for it tomorrow you wont even remember it happening
You'd think after all these years of evolution that it would be longer than a golf pencil.
he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
you thought your tounge was "malfunctioning" because every time u spoke it wouldnt sit still.
Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
I have reverted to folding laundry while watching porn. how much sadder can my life get?
We just laid there in bed together, petting his dick and repeating, "IT FEELS LIKE VELVET!!!"
He never broke character while fucking me on the neighbor's lawn. I give him a 10 for his dedication to the British accent.
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
The random guy I fucked from craigslist said I had the best smile. I take compliments where i can get them
I woke up tied to my bed while she was in the corner staring at me while eating cereal. Interesting night!
and everyone will high five me and girls will approach me offering blowjobs
The thing about pooping in the woods during hunting season is you never know if someone's watching you.
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
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