I was just curling my hair topless and I just burned my nipple. Ouch.
pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
Just pulled my keys, cell-phone and a pack of cigarettes out from between my cleavage. This one guy's face was priceless.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
the only muscles i have these days is kegels
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
just ran into a kid I used to hook up with while wearing his shirt. Only me. I tried to pretend like it wasn't his but it said his name on the back so I wasn't winning that.
We told you to stay put for 2 minutes. We come back out and your being handcuffed yelling "DO YOU FEEL LIKE A GOOD FUCKING PERSON ARRESTING ME ON MY BIRTHDAY?!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And all I ask is the occasional "welcome home from work" blowjob.....and for you to fold my laundry. I hate folding laundry
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
I just spent 3 hours in the back of an unmarked police cruiser. Best. Date. Ever.
Im going to hell I gave him a handjob on the plane next, to an old guy playing video games on his iPad, on good friday.
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
Today I saw someone riding a horse on the sidewalk by aldi when I went to walmart. Old town road was playing on the radio. It was perfect.
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