Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
you told the bartender not to open the bottle because you were gonna put it in your purse in case you get cut off later
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
he asked my vagina if she was excited to meet Leonard. LEONARD. His fuckin penis is named Leonard.
Just bought a McDouble with a tightly rolled dollar. The lady just gave me a sad face...
Standing in front of the open refrigerator with a 3/4 empty bottle of wine eating Bac-o's from the jar, topless. Somebody really should've taught me better coping skills.
The bar owner gave me permission to push people into the pool. I'm never going to leave Los Angeles
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
I couldn't tell you were laughing too hard
Dude I thought I set my hair on fire. I wasn't laughing I was screaming.
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
I've never met a penis that didn't think I was awesome.
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