Don't judge me. Haven't eaten all day so I'm in my room sticking my finger in peanut butter, then jam, then my mouth.
dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
he shattered multiple jars of jelly against his roommates doors last night. this morning the asian one wouldn't even talk to him because he thought he was gonna get beaten up
please stop telling ppl youre Alice Cullen when youre drunk
you wouldn't stop saying "oil can" in the tin man voice until I gave you back your flask
I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
Hello wreck, this is your train calling.
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
Dude. It's not even nine. I don't know yet.
Drink number four. Don't even tell me about its not even nine
This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
im about to go through the checkout with 3 flasks and a wedding card. let the judgement begin!
update: cashier guessed cash bar before i could say anything. completely bypassed "dry" and knew cash bar right away. i love this state.
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